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Your husbands love you, and love that you are able to do what they cannot. Here are my thoughts as someone who grew up with a non-mormon father and as someone who married a non-mormon girl.
I appreciate all the replies explaining the extent of the aggravation and pain I likely will face. God will help you both work this out.
Although there are no strict rules as to who should do the asking, the Mormons are very conservative and in general, they expect guys to do the asking. I now think that 2 is the only reasonable choice to make, even as a man в staying single my whole life в until and unless I find the woman whom I cannot live without, the woman who is a true companion to me.
Sadly, my ward shuns us.