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A lot of what you say about Support was what I expected to find in residency.
At the very least, I might have tried to persuade my husband to pursue a different career, if only a less-demanding area of medicine. Before I met my husband I had dated quite a few members and some relationships were quite serious but I never felt right about it.
Do you and your girlfriend have any kind of plan for how you're going to manage your relationship while you're both in residency.
Also, as Joanna points out, men and women already inhabit a separate culture. Given the high divorce rate in this particular specialty, it might have helped him if there were people in the environment who questioned his behavior or at the very least, registered some sort of disapproval.